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Cake day: December 20th, 2023

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  • I’m not quite onboard with your “punishing men” rhetoric later in the thread, but here I agree

    Like, how many attempts are now undertaken to pitch men and women against one another or otherwise separate them, and how far can this rabbit hole go?

    Men are growing wary of women - and everyone’s cheering as MGTOW raises heads again. Women are getting increasingly defensive - and breed fear and loathing, as crowds cheer again. Both play off each other to show how much the other side sucks.

    One is only seen as friendly if they support this division; anyone trying to bridge it is seen as a bad actor.

    Stop it. Fuck 4B. Fuck MGTOW. Fuck that conservative dude who thinks they have a right for a woman’s body. Fuck those who put all men into sexual offenders category. Let common sense, love, and responsibility to each other prevail. Go outside and protest gerontocrats trying to take women’s right for their own body. Allow and encourage men to stand alongside and be part of the fight against forces many of them didn’t choose. Never put all people in one basket, and fight your true enemy.








  • No, I just highlight that the research you provided doesn’t say what you want it to say. And I can’t really find many articles that confirm your notion.

    You can call the country your home if you constantly live and/or were born there. Quite straightforward to me. Now, it would certainly be handy to learn the language and familiarize with the culture - which many Latvian Russians do - and it’s a correct turn to make Latvian courses mandatory - but suppressing Russian culture is a step too far, and something that should never be applied to anyone. Luckily, I’m not the only one thinking this way.

    I do speak Ukrainian (мова, anyone?), although I must admit that since I’ve spent more time living here in Russia and not everyone even in Ukraine spoke Ukrainian, I do speak Russian better. But same is true for most Eastern Ukrainians anyway.

    I don’t white-wash anything, I’m only saying hostility is not a viable option. You, along many others, try to push all blame on everyday Russians - and there could be a grain of truth to that, more could be done a decade ago to make sure this never happens - but what do you want now? What is the proposed course of action, exactly?

    When those questions come up, I don’t know the answers. And I desperately wish to have one. One thing I do know is that getting hostile to Russians makes them hostile to you, which gradually shifts the idea of hostile Russians into a self-fulfilling prophecy, boosting Putin’s support. If you didn’t see it, one of the main patriotic tropes of Russia is that the world is full of enemies that hate Russians. Don’t make this true; people do not reason when they are despised, and they will not come to the conclusion that this is meant to stimulate them to do something. By trying to make Russians feel “consequences of their actions”, you really just feed directly into Putin’s propaganda machine and make Russians actually hate you.

    No, that wasn’t me, and media can be accessed - at least via VPNs. Not gonna argue on that - and I still insist the support is not as broad as you imagine it to be, although sometimes it looks like some folks do everything in their power to make it true. Also, collective punishment over those in particular who support the war is never a good option at any ratio. This, by the way, has further alienated some of the opposition.

    As I said, I do not have strong opinions on Russo-Ukrainian border. If Ukraine retakes Crimea and Donbass, then be it. If Russia captures them, okay. You think the reason I’m talking this is because I take the side of Russia, but I don’t take either side. If Ukraine ends up including Kursk (which was Russian pre-war), and Russia ends up including Luhansk (which was Ukrainian pre-war), and the peace is then brokered, whatever! I have zero loyalty to either country, and see the concept of a country to be imposed and alien, introducing conflicts over nothing that actually matters. I am, however, loyal to people, all people, and naturally sensitive to the struggles of those living on both sides of this very border. And on one side there are people not only suffering from rocket strikes, but also chased and beaten and pushed to go to their death (aka бусифікація), and on the other the country is turning into a war machine, feeding its young men into the grinder as well (aka могилизация). Stop that first, it’s an obvious priority task, isn’t it?

    Now, does this approach of hostility make it any closer? If anything, it makes peace further away, it drives people further away. And it’s a big deal.

    Maybe being nice to Russians didn’t help them stop Putin. But being hostile to Russians plays straight into Putin’s deck. It looks, however, like retribution for you is the goal in itself, not a measure to actually help anyone, on any side of the frontline.

    With that said, I don’t think this is the kind of conversation worth having.





  • Disagree, in the world full of all sorts of sexual depictions this just feels like you’ve accidentally switched to porn - something you’re currently not intended to do and if you would, you’d look for it directly.

    It’s awkward, unnecessary and usually excessively artsy to be taken seriously, and actors might not be the kind of people you’d love to see sex scenes with.

    While I appreciate and share your look at sex as a continuation and natural part of romance, I think it is necessary to show the main part - love, devotion, trust, butterflies in the stomach - and the rest can be figured out.

    Something like “they lived happily ever after”



  • Even if that were true (which is not, read the damn conclusions section), this doesn’t support your emotional notion. And as much as I’d like to share such a simple outrage, it’s not helpful.

    It would be weird to see all Russians born in Latvia only support Latvian side of things, just as it would be weird to see each and every Latvian born in Russia supporting Russia.

    I never said I see war as necessary, I say many of the people that can be defined as pro-war are not for it because they want to see Ukrainians gone. I personally am anti-war and I call for peace through whatever means necessary, because - surprise surprise - I care about people’s lives and you seemingly don’t. It is curently you who calls for brute force solutions.

    And you trying to say my ethnicity is not valid is laughable. Oh yeah, gonna be unborn to my Ukrainian father and forget my entire Ukrainian bloodline. Maybe your cultural shock at facing a Ukrainian who doesn’t immediately call to destroy all Russians is your problem? Then go around and maybe talk to some outside political circlejerks.

    Russian culture is independent and beautiful, not defined by anything in particular - just as Ukrainian. You trying to minimize it to “victimhood” or even politics more broadly is an insult to everything good the country has produced - and there is plenty.

    The perfect scenario I see is peace talks, and then Ukraine joining NATO. There are talks on the NATO side, but they require Ukraine to leave the current war first. I do think this is the best way forward, as Russian security guarantees are proven not to be trusted.

    Seeing any national or ethnic group as “inherently dangerous” is nothing but a way to more abuse, and a common justification for imperialist wars, too. There is no such society in Russia, and seeing it this way is an issue of your perception. But regardless, make peace talks and then invite Ukraine to NATO. Problem solved.


  • The advice would be relevant a bit ealier, around the Bolotnaya protests.

    But now protesting in Russia is nothing short of suicidal. You won’t make yourself heard - much quicker, you’ll be jailed. Police is constantly on duty near main protest venues, and they act brutal. And this fear mentality permeates many even as they leave, afraid they’ll have to return some day.

    Right now, it seems like the only thing that would help is a full-scale revolution, but people are passivized enough through decades of oppression that organizing them is near impossible. Everyone is scared as hell to be the one who comes on the street, finds out they are alone and next moment they are taken to police and jailed for years.

    Even under those conditions, people did come out to anti-war protests, especially in 2022. Result? Brutal suppression and mass incarceration. So, I hope you can see where this comes from.


  • Authors clearly stated that the result can be inaccurate and some percentage of Russians may not answer honestly even under such conditions, and in conclusions, they only ended up confirming some people do seemingly hide their true opinions (although the extent of it may vary as the studied group was not representative of entire Russian population and was taken from Toloka, a place attracting specific demographic not fully representative of general Russian population).

    It sure is important to know Latvian language, but for that they already have Latvian language tests for those coming into Latvian citizenship. They can, however, hold any culture they want, while respecting Latvian law and basic customs. Same applies to anyone anywhere, including any minorities of Russia or Ukraine. In any case, trying to erase Russian identity is not the answer, which is obvious to legislators outside the country.

    Did I say anything about borders? You literally made this up. When I say I want peace, honestly, I don’t give a single damn where the border will be - where it is now, or where it has originally been, or anything in between. I want for two countries, both of which are my homes, mind you, to stop putting their men in the meat grinder. And I know plenty of people on both sides of the Russo-Ukrainian frontline share my sentiment.

    But attacking Russians on the Internet and excluding them from everywhere further radicalizes them, leaves them bitter to the outside world, which can lead them to believe y’all really are the enemies to fight against. By alienating Russians, such people just feed into Putin’s narrative that the world is full of hostiles. This has nothing to do with victimhood or imperialism - this is basic human psychology, and it would work exactly the same anywhere else.

    I strongly wish Russian aggression would stop, I care for it with all my heart. Again, my close ones are in fear of an attack as we speak. But I also happen to see the perspective of everyday Russians - something that most of those judging never get to see or even consider, naively thinking that they are the “punishers” for incorrect behavior, and that more of that will lead to a “child” getting to learn good behavior. No - slowly, but surely you simply raise bitterness and become an enemy. And they won’t get themselves to blame, and they will march with their wraith. Not on you. On my people. My grandmother. My uncle. My brother. His wife. I could just never talk about those things, present myself as a Ukrainian (after all, I am one) and go about my life, but too much is at stake for me to stay silent when y’all are doing the stupidest shit you can.



  • No, I’ve put “war as a necessity” group separate from “anti-war”.

    Through the virtue of being Russo-Ukrainian (and currently residing in Russia) I constantly speak to people of very wide backgrounds, and I listen to conversations around.

    There are people who are generally speaking of exterminating Ukraine, putting Z signs on the vehicles etc., but there aren’t that many of them.

    There are some that want to restore “Slavic world”, and many more that talk about “saving Russia”, which is certainly imperialist and serving Putin’s agenda, but not aimed at exterminating Ukrainians per se (and having close Ukrainian roots and many relatives under rocket strikes, I am very sensitive to the narrative of destroying culture or people, my culture and my people, so I notice when it happens).

    And there is a majority of people I know, people that are opposed to war, some mildly and mostly out of care for their families, some strongly and coming from something more. Most of them have something to lose, and even those who previously protested now can’t risk that, because regime got way more brutal. They literally don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do while my close ones are in danger.

    Colonial settlers? Latvian Russians are the kids and grandkids of those who moved there back when this was seen as yet another region. These people never chose to be born in Latvia, but so is their home, and they happen to be Russians. People of any ethnicity in any country should have access to their culture; this is one of the basic rights everyone should have. No exceptions.

    As you can guess from previous paragraphs, I speak Russian fluently as well, только при этом я здесь живу по сей день и могу оценить, как дела обстоят на самом деле и что думают обычные люди. Местами в регионах это совпадает с зарисовками, опубликованными Медузой, но в целом я вижу больше разговоров и об украинцах, хотя очень часто исподтишка, невзначай, как вот про “украинских ребят” из той же зарисовки. It’s hard to openly protest and voice open dissent, though.

    On the sources: 1.Clearly states that the only relevant result is that Russians do indeed hide their dissent, and estimates may be wrong even when asking indirectly, and are certainly skewed with direct answers. 2.Quite an interesting read, though there’s mainly one true and important takeaway: many Russians, especially in the small regions that have always lived a slow life, face inability to protest it openly, end up growing frustrated and escape long discussions of the war. This is commonly known as “getting tired” of it, but there is a deeper level to it. 3.Sources info from article 1 and misinterprets it.

    The problem is, the research you provided only confirms that there is an issue of hiding true opinions, without definitively stating wide support. A list method employed not only doesn’t guarantee honest answers (just makes them more likely), it also has plenty of inaccuracies of its own, as it brings about many contentious things people could agree or disagree on.

    There’s one thing we have in common - we want this war to end. You, probably for overall peace in the world, me, because my close ones are in danger, hiding from mobilization, living with intermittent electricity, not knowing what tomorrow is gonna bring, and also for global peace, of course. But seeing how it unfolds in Russia, how russophobia channels and feeds into Russian nationalism - something that can easily be weaponized - I really don’t think this is the answer. Russians the people are truly in the hard spot right now, they don’t need someone to tell them to go figure this out, and if there is a way to support any anti-war effort inside Russia, this will go a much longer way than animosity and rejection based on where they happen to be.