Person A quietly swipes a pen off your desk.
Person B robs a bank at gunpoint, and it goes bad, murdering 12 people in the process, including kids.
“Obviously both sides must be talked about with the same weight of seriousness.” “That was my favorite pen, how dare he!!!” “They’re both thieves, and there’s no difference between them.” “They’re both the same.”
Fuck that.
“Oh please don’t throw me into the briar patch Mr. Fox! Anything but the briar patch!” -Br’er Rabbit, who was born and raised in the briar patch, and knows Mr. Fox can’t follow.