I think this movie was already made.

Have friends who work in surgery. Trust me when I say cucumbers are the tamest thing people will shove in themselves.

Here I’ll help

“The best records… great memory… the best… doctors claim to not have seen a memory like mine… beyond measure… they can’t even measure it ladies and gentlemen… even better than my opponent Sleepy Joe… I defeated Joe in 2020… complete landslide… I’ll beat him in 2024.”

Back when they used to teach Sex Ed. All of us (boys and girls) had to try to put a condom on a banana. The kicker was we were wearing goggles with vaseline smeared on the lens and had thick rubber gloves on.

This was to simulate trying to put on a condom well under the influence.

if usually short-lasting, high, but long-term use can lead to complications like brain damage

Are they talking about Tik Tok?

No one will look back and say there weren’t signs when our planet dies. They’ll finally realize we just ignored them.

I gave my pet rat a viking burial before. Made a little paper boat and outfit.

Problem was when I decided to do it, the ice didn’t melt on the lake and I couldn’t find anywhere I could get to that wasn’t ice. So I sent her skidding out on the ice aflame.

Essentially the prison saying they don’t want to deal with the body at this point.

If only my grandfather wasn’t so foolish to buy a leather case the same color as his leather seats. He may have known joy one last time and not died a broken man.

That’s why I decided to have the entire vehicle reupholstered.

I hope someday to share this photo with my grandchildren so they can maintain the legacy.

"A decades long search. After leaving the latest dig site where we hoped to find the device. I glanced over to my passenger seat. To my surprise, there it was, for nearly 100 years there it always was.

My grandfather wasted a lifetime of savings exploring the far expanse of this continent in search of this iPad. He died not knowing what became of his beloved, a whisper of defeat on his final breath “Find my device… find my… urgh… never found! Oh God it’s just darkness… I’ll never kno… no noooo…” he said as his face twisted into fear and heart finally gave out. I was only a small boy then, now the years and those words weighed heavily on me.

Stripped of joy, only sadness flooded into me. With disbelief I reached over as I wept, utterly broken."

So it begins…

How about these?

You don’t want to do remote work for someone in Saudi Arabia making greeting cards under a 2 month contract? The interview process only requires you do 20 hours of work unpaid to be considered.

Story sounds like vultures fighting over a carcass.

Grotesk maybe. The curve of “h” doesn’t seem to go high enough. Otherwise pretty close.