I can say at least I understand martial arts, even if it’s not my thing, because there’s so much artistry in that and it’s a full body thing whereas boxing is basically just too dudes punching each other. Hit me up when the fighters start using Instant Transmission and Special Beam Cannon and I’ll give it another look

I prefer the one where they’re smiling through tears as they both simultaneously eat Vladimir Putin’s asshole while he beats them with a bundle of reeds

This sounds like a cult

…Boris Johnson said this?

Can someone just tell me which is the good one and which is the bad one for convenience

“We’ve got some poodle meat in the freezer for you…”

I knew that Chinese baby-eating robot was a mistake

The British-Canadian Hipster found of Vice became the leader of an anti-immigrant white nationalist group in the United States? Weird character arc. Anyone have any insight?

Wow I really thought this was going to be an onion article

You just don’t turn down an execution for any reason in Texas. We just love execution too damn much, too much damn fun. Falsified evidence? Doesn’t matter, calendar says EXECUTION so somebody’s getting crispy

Damn beat me to it

Threat to what? Is an anime streaming site going to commit a 9/11?

Reminds me of my ex

After New Yorker dies of [dolphin noise]

Easy mistake to make. No, this is actually about the Margaritaville guy

Bit of a misnomer honestly

Well if he shot himself then he was clearly both

”Disney Legal Team Argues that Agreeing to the Terms & Conditions of Their Streaming Platform Releases The Company of Any and All Potential Liability in Political Assassination”

Very much nottheonion material. Something like

”Disney Legal Team Argues that Agreeing to the Terms & Conditions of Their Streaming Platform Releases The Company of Any and All Potential Liability in Shellfish Poisonings”

Is that the horse that he offered to that airline attended as payment to fuck him after he pulled out his penis in front of her on the plane? They liquidated that horse?