Looks like the Cs are being Bs again…

Don’t be ridiculous, the UK would never do anything to harm vulnerable nations /s

Imagine turning down $800 an hour because you don’t want to work in a warehouse /s

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Back in my day it was Lynx 2012 / apocalypse / whatever it was called saying that was the last Lynx they’d ever make. To my annoyance, it turns out they were lying. Although I don’t tend to hang out with the sort of people that blast themselves with Lynx so I guess it makes no difference either way

Is that when the crowds have sex louder than the artist’s performance?

That IP address is coming from inside the house!

If only YouTube ads were as unobtrusive as PornHub’s… one five-second-skippable ad before each video is all I’ve ever seen

Oh, so now it’s important when someone gets killed over there

If someone ironically pays me $8000, I’m still $8000 richer

There’s nothing contradictory in what is written there.

“The XTX is better - but you don’t deserve it, bitch”

“Pharmacists are finding they can see more patients a day by just prescribing the closest thing within arm’s reach”

Seeing more patients is not a good thing by itself

Who’s got time for fact checking? Just assume he’s lying whenever his mouth is open and enjoy the rest of your day

I’m always quick!

…

😭

Well, there’s no way he’s going to lose gracefully

(I know that’s not how you meant it)

Imagine not understanding when someone’s making a joke

“It’S oK tO uSe QuOtEs WhEn QuOtInG sOmEoNe.”

• sik0fewl (emphasis mine)

I much prefer cannabis growers to landlords who have empty buildings, destroying high streets but still refusing to lower rents.

(Also, fuck landlords in general :) )

Oh shit! I didn’t do it!

fuck

…

Whew, I think I got away with it!