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Cake day: July 6th, 2023

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  • I can see it now. The first two cops enter the room and are instantly sucked into the MRI machine due to their guns and other metal items. They comically struggle to use their radio on account of being stuck to the machine. They finally manage to get to their radio and call for help. The moment backup arrives, they are sucked into the machine as well. The third cop lands with his crotch precariously close to the face of one of the other cops. More struggling continues. New guy can get to his radio just fine and radios for more backup. The first two try to stop him but to no avail. Again, backup arrives. Again, backup gets sucked into the machine. “Hey guys, I can reach my radio just fine. I’ll call for backup.” Cue the chorus “NOOOOOOOO!”. He stops. They have a debate over how to explain the predicament to the next round of backup they need to call. They bicker a bit, but settle on an extremely nuanced and verbose message. The reply comes out static-y but they rejoice as surely they’ll be saved. Door opens. “You were breaking up. What were you trying to… AHHHHHH!” Sucked into the machine. Curtains close on the cast bickering.













  • I see what they’re doing. You know how in the real world the billionaires make the rules and can flex their power? So can bigger youtube stars. This can lead to youtube losing out a bit in negotiations just like the government will sometimes fuck its people over because some rich twat gets a bug up their ass and tosses some cash around. But what if those bigger youtube stars had less share of the market? Hype likely won’t cost youtube itself viewers, but it could shift viewers around redistributing them to less known channels. Now the bigger stars are a little less big and bring a little less to the negotiating table.