Bulk ordered from Ali Express

4. Sell watches for 100K while your wife says everyone is poor

It’s all in the emails Hillary sent from Hunter Biden’s laptop!

There may have been “other factors” that were not legal in my state at the time contributing to my pantsless genius…

I’ve used my jeans as oven mitts before.

First night in new apartment, making frozen pizza, oven mitts are… Wait, do I even own oven mitts? Is there a towel around? Jeans are thick, that should work!

Sitting on the floor, sans pants, eating a Red Baron off the box it came in, sliced haphazardly with a pocket knife is peak adulting.

I’d much rather chip in to get a billboard that says “Ha Hah!” That’s visible from his prison cell.

Now there’s 2702 billionaires to take out…

Studies show that an attacker with a knife in hand has the advantage over someone with a holstered gun from as far as 21 feet away.

I learned about Arch from memes.

I run CinnaMint.

I’m attempting to normalize “CinnaMint” over “Mint Cinnamon”

They ruined the bigger plan! It was a trip to Disney, they never said they’d get a trip back…

No worries, the air guard base near me flies A-10s, so I see them all the time & nerd out about them a little.

If you can carry a GAU-8 Avenger, which is traditionally mounted in an A-10 Warthog, no one is going to stop you.

I’m attempting to normalize calling it CinnaMint. I get a few up votes Everytime I mention it, but I haven’t seen anyone else use it yet.

I’ve carried a knife daily for 30+ years; more people should carry knives so they stop asking to borrow mine when they need one.

An angry Travis Kelce is a consequence he may have overlooked.

I thought she decided to turn black later…?

That map is wrong. You have stuff in the void between Las Vegas and Chicago.

Iss tha’ opposite o’ what Michael Jackson got!

The only thing worse is when people grab one edge of a disc in the case and just rip it out instead of using the release button in the middle.

I have a patch of the 4Chan “no step on snek” version because I thought it was hilarious. No idea what the cops would think if they saw it