Over assertively impregnates employees as a hobby

arbitrary npm package:

• last updated 4 years ago
• sole developer legit dead and buried
• 47 dependencies
• 608 critical vulnerabilities
• condemned by the United Nations

Still has 7 million weekly downloads

are you under 16

no

ok cool here’s a youtube short when an AI voice tells you an AI-written story over vaguely related stock footage

The planet is fucking melting and elected leaders are writing laws on herding cats

I’ve been using the internet for longer than I’ve been an adult.

I still sometimes add +10 years to date of birth fields out of habit.

Might as well have issued a mandate to nom a spoonful of sand daily.

why do people spend so much time being awful

I didn’t think there was a most pathetic way to out yourself as a rapist

Caught me red handed not reading the article

in my defence I never learned how to read

I’m not from the US

But who over there is following election advice from the fucking FBI

Aren’t they very disliked across the political spectrum?

You eventually get used to it

One time I tried for 5 minutes to get my contact lens out, getting desperate enough to scratch from the white to the iris with my fingernail. I thought I was scratching the contact lens until I felt something weird in the side of my eye.

The fucking thing slid behind my eye at some point.

So I scratched my literal fucking eyeball with very little pain.

My vision was blurry, but I could see only one contact lens was removed in the container. I concluded that it must still be in there and that the bad vision was just my mind playing tricks on me.

Point is, you can get pretty comfortable touching your eyeball.

Maybe half ass it a little bit

If they’re not compensating you for giving 150% of your energy, then don’t give them 150% of your energy.

Like, tell them you need to catch a breath, take a “smoke break” (even if you don’t smoke, mime vape a lil ink pen in the smoking section). Rehydrate more, piss more. Say you’re dizzy. Come up with something.

How is that a ceasefire when IDF troops snipe kids and journalists in their downtime?

Does the spectrum for that word usually range from lighting the wrong side of a cigarette to serious crimes against human dignity?

I thought he meant, like, inclusive ‘and’

Like the line is between (Epstein+Weinstein) and everyone who is not (Epstein+Weinstein)

Im high as shit, please y’all go easy on me

I assume the guy with the solution is doing that Turkish ice cream vendor thing where he keeps sleight-of-handing it away from the rest of the government

fuck it

just going to print out the man pages for wget and study it like a religious text

If this were true I would already have had like 19 heart attacks by now

Yep. They’ve been around for years.

Normally you would just give them your card info like any other online pay site like PayPal etc. but I don’t know why they suddenly decided to give everyone at the company a deluxe lobotomy

I saw this shit yesterday when I was trying to buy a weed cart online (still not sure if it’s legal or not. I still hear stories of those moron cops arresting people for “drug possession” i.e. didn’t pay a bribe)

Noped out and just gave the clearnet grey market drug website virtual card info that’s gonna expire in a few hours anyway

I’m not scared of nuclear power

but hearing it in the same sentence as ‘Microsoft AI’ sent a shiver down my spine

those goddamn fucking fake UPS emails

I have never used UPS in my fucking life

every day another unread 19 in the spam folder

like, I didn’t click the shady link the first 4812 times

Why would I click it on the 4813rd email?

I’ve been using this extension for over a year now. The only malicious use I’ve seen has been petty.

Occasionally see a video from a controversial creator titled something like “Asshole talks about stupid bullshit for 25 minutes” on fresh uploads.

The titles do change quite a bit. A lot of my title suggestions were changed/improved by others.

There’s a voting system, so you’d need a big group of bad actors fighting uphill for something that isn’t really all that worth it.

My dick fits into all of them

Seems pretty universal to me 😎

he brainwashed so many people

glad he’s neck deep in shit at the moment

but every time I see a headline with his name that doesn’t include some variation of “passes away at age”, my blood pressure rises a little bit.