• Dead_or_Alive@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Yeah people are reading too much into this. I’d like to think I’d never say shut the hell up to my kids (or anyone else), but everyone’s family dynamic is different.

    Unfortunately sometimes you have to make them understand that now is not the time. This may be his attempt to do so.

    I only spanked my kids once and that was when they tried to run into traffic. I’m sure some people watching judged me and thought I was a terrible parent. But I needed to make them understand immediately that they can’t do that.

    • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Unfortunately sometimes you have to make them understand that now is not the time. This may be his attempt to do so.

      And yet my parents, my wife’s parents and we as parents have never had to say that to a child. Once.

      I only spanked my kids once and that was when they tried to run into traffic. I’m sure some people watching judged me and thought I was a terrible parent. But I needed to make them understand immediately that they can’t do that.

      So they learned the necessary truth that if they try to run into traffic, they will be hit by a parent?

      I don’t think you’re a terrible parent for that, but I am judging you. That doesn’t let them know why it’s wrong to run into traffic, it just lets them think it makes you angry. That is not a way to teach your kids a lesson.

    • FatCrab@lemmy.one
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      4 months ago

      Nah, man, you made an error in your parenting. It’s not a big deal so long as your recognize it but at this point there is pretty substantial evidence that such discipline techniques are generally more harmful than not.

      And that’s ok, because honestly parenting is fucking hard. I definitely get rougher and less patient with my kid when I’m stressed, but it’s a behavior I recognize I need to change and actively work on because it is objectively, unquestionably, bad parenting. This is a long way of saying that while, yea, family dynamics vary, there are many ways of parenting that are just very clearly bad or good, and recognizing the bad, even in ourselves, is something that is necessary for being a complete parent.

      • Dead_or_Alive@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        Not at all what I meant. I’m not sorry and I would spank my kids again if they tried to do something life threatening (fortunately they are old enough that I don’t have to do that).

        People shouldn’t jump to conclusions or judge other parents for their parenting styles as long as it isn’t out and out abuse.

        There are plenty of other policy and moral decisions that J.D. Vance to bag on than the way he disciplined his kid. If there was a history of abuse then that would be a different thing altogether.