I’ll surgically extract you

Nice

I spread them on toast and then eat them with a nice cup of tea

Would if I could, dough.

Everyone knows that any establishment I enter automatically makes greater than half their income from alcohol.

And if they don’t already, they’re about to

In Texas, guns aren’t allowed inside establishments that make more than 50% of their income selling alcohol. This is why, whenever I go to the bar, I leave my gun outside, but tie it up to a nearby pole or bike rack so that people know it’s not a stray.

@[email protected], how do you handle wanting your gun by your side in public but having the sudden urge to sprint, screaming, into a post office or school?

I know about him! He’s the hot dude who married Kate after making all the Otis elevators stop. And then he jumped through timelines with burn-victim Van Wilder.

Hey, @[email protected]! Are we talking about that little puts baby, Greg Abbott? I heard that he’s a little piss baby!

Nobody is nobody. A story like this raises awareness. Both lets people know that one of our own (rightfully) got himself detained in South Korea and tells people to stop being shitheads for likes. Unless you’re running for president, then they’ll give you free publicity!

But also, if you can’t survive without my tips, you’re probably working in the American service sector.

Oh wow! So he’s gonna give tax breaks to every semi-coherentcohesive group of health-based believers and force their top-10 most influential protocols and PSAs to be taught in schools??? I wonder if he’ll fight to pay $45/student to schools that let teachers teach from the Pink Book!

A lot. We are a lot dumb

I’m gonna have to sue whoever said that to deal with the whiplash from my doubletake

Wut that has to do with anything there saying??!! *cough and wheeze*

Skibidi chomp

lying piece of shit liar lies

I feel like you’re trying to imply something here…

This is MY creative moment!

Texodus! That’s my word, I invented it! Everything fucking sucks here, but I’ll die knowing I said “Texodus” on the internet.

But I used the password “P@55w0rd1”!!!